faack

I come here to write whenever I have no other place to write. I especially don't wanna write this on facebook, twitter, or even my public blogspot... and I'm somewhat comfortable with the private-ness of this page sooo I'll spill it here: I have a new crush. and I hate the fact that every new crush I have, always has a bf. ALWAYS... it's like, I know how to pick the right girl, but some other dude was 2 steps ahead of me. On another note, I feel like I am finally at peace with some people from my past. Merina, even though I've actually told you that I have no feelings towards you, the peace that I have been surrounded with has been with me for a long time. I feel that moving to a new city, new school, allows me to just forgive and forget that past more easily. And since I've forgiven and forgotten the past, I know have a clean slate to paint my emotions onto... now it's with this girl. Let's call her, P. P is cute, smiley-faced, and always laughing... She has a bf... but I have this "2-year plan" to change that... I don't wanna go into detail, but it's pretty much just my plan of attack... I'll be a good friend, and then develop trust from there... I really hope I can do that, because it's already harder than it seems... people don't act exactly the way you think/want/manipulate... so in the real world, some plans don't play out how you want them to... does that mean, I abandon ship in the 4th week of school? Or do I ride this out and see where it goes from here? I wish I had a friend I could really just spill all my feelings to... I lost that with Steph... the only girl could really be transparent with. It's always hard finding someone like that. :\